If Three's a Crowd
by TheGirlWhoRemembers
Summary: Then what's a four? A series of short snapshots of the Hogwarts years of four best friends: Michael Corner, Anthony Goldstein, Terry Boot and Padma Patil, as they try to find out. Latest update: Terry's all-knowing, Padma's lost in her thoughts, Anthony's annoyed, and Michael's got a couple of crazy theories. Anyone else got a sense of deja vu?
1. Jealousy, Dress Robes and Pork Chops

AN: This will be a series of very short one-shots, that don't follow a linear time frame. They are all set in the same universe, which is the same as that of 'Lessons' and 'Those of Wit and Learning'. However, while those were deeper and more introspective, this is much more light-hearted for the most part. It is not necessary to have read them at all, though it may enhance your reading experience.

The only reason why this story is under Terry and Padma is to keep it consistent with the other two stories in this universe. Not every one-shot will feature all four, I'm afraid, but I will try to make sure that as many as I can do have all four.

For those who have, feedback on whether or not I have managed to capture the same characterizations in this much less deep, much less introspective story would be much appreciated. Thank you in advance!

* * *

Anthony rolled his eyes.

'He's not jealous, Mike. He doesn't get jealous-'

'Yeah, because of some logical self-discipline thing... in other words, Terry's in denial!'

The subject of their argument simply ignored them, pulling dark blue dress robes over his head.

'He isn't in denial, it's just his nature. We've known him for four years now, and we know he doesn't get jealous!'

'Yeah, yeah, because he thinks that wanting things you can't possibly have is a waste of time and effort. Like anyone thinks that way-'

Anthony adopted an expression akin to what one would have while trying to explain a concept to a small child.

Terry cleaned his glasses.

'Mike, after four years in Ravenclaw, you should know by now that no matter what you come up with, someone will believe it, someone will think that way and someone will act that way. Besides, what's your proof?'

Terry sat down on the edge of his bed and began tying his shoelaces.

'He said that she looked wonderful and that her date was a really lucky guy!'

Anthony sighed, exasperated.

'He also told Parvati, when they-

'Besides the point!'

'-that she was sure to catch lots of eyes tonight! And then he also told-'

'But that's not the same thing! That doesn't involve another guy directly! It's not a jealousy-based comment!'

'-that she looked beautiful, and not to doubt that, no matter what happens, no matter what anyone says, tonight! If you're going to be talking about jealous comments, then surely that's even more so! And we all know that Terry doesn't-'

'Tony, Mike, if we don't leave now, we're going to be late for the Ball.'

And without another word, Terry swept out the door.

Michael was practically jumping up and down.

'See! See! He's avoiding the topic! And did you see that look on his face? Calm, neutral, that's a sure sign that it's a carefully schooled expression-'

Anthony stood and glanced at his watch.

'No, that's just Terry's normal expression, Mike. And he's right, actually. We _are_ going to be late if we don't hurry up. Face it, he's not jealous.'

'But he is! I mean-'

By the time they reached the Great Hall and took their seats, Michael had outlined all of the jealous signs that he had observed in Terry's behaviour.

Anthony maintained that there was no change at all in Terry's behaviour.

There was no change when the particular male was mentioned, no anger, no signs of dislike, no focus on him, no indifference, or ignoring of him, simply what was normal behaviour, for Terry, at least.

'But he's being all indifferent about this conversation we're having! He's ignoring us, because he knows that we know that he's jealous, and he's in denial!'

'Pork chops!'

'See, he's interrupting our conversation!'

'...I don't think ordering dinner, _which is what we're supposed to be doing right now_, constitutes interrupting. And if I were him, I'd be ignoring us too. '

All through dinner, Michael didn't let up, Anthony became even more exasperated, and Terry continued to engage the diners near them in polite small talk.

'See, see!'

Michael was pointing across the room, where the couple who had sparked this entire argument were talking and laughing amicably.

'Look, Tony! He's ignoring them, not even looking in their direction at all!'

By now, Michael was whirling his arms in an excellent demonstration of the flight technique of a Doxy.

'...That's because his back is to them, Mike.'

'But-'

Anthony simply put his head in his hands, wondering what in the world he had done to deserve this.

'Tony, your sleeve is in your mashed potatoes. Mike, Ginny Weasley is staring at you funny, and _I have no idea why._'

And with that, Terry promptly diverted his attention back to his pork chops.

Michael gestured even more wildly.

'See, see!'

Anthony just groaned as he tried to clean mashed potato off his brand-new dress robes.

Terry was not jealous of Seamus Finnigan, and he did not have a crush on Lavender Brown.

If only he could make Michael see that...

* * *

Terry smiled to himself through a mouthful of pork chop.

His modified Selective Hearing Charm had proved most useful.

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own, nor do I claim to own Harry Potter.


	2. Hot For Teacher

'Mike, you can't say that you don't regret not taking Arithmancy.'

Michael gestured at the complicated number table that Anthony had spent the last hour and a half staring at and making scribbles on.

'Have you seen this? No way, I am so glad I didn't!'

'But it's a wonderful subject! And Professor Vector is an amazing teacher.'

Padma looked up from _Important Modern Magical Discoveries._

'Tony is right, Mike. Arithmancy is fascinating, and Professor Vector really does know what she's talking about, though she is rather strict, I suppose.'

Michael shook his head.

'Regretting not taking Arithmancy indeed...My friends are mad. That's the only explanation.'

Terry peered at them over _The Daily Prophet._

'Did it really take you three years to conclude that, Mike?'

They all grinned, except Michael, who scowled instead.

Anthony adjusted his reading glasses, turning back to his work.

Michael was still muttering under his breath.

'...Spent an hour and a half of perfectly good Friday evening...scribbling down numbers everywhere...'

Then suddenly, his voice grew in volume.

'Wait, Pad, Terry, you take Arithmancy too, so why aren't _you _toiling over number charts right now?'

'Because we've finished our homework already, Mike.'

'Then why is Tony still slaving away?'

'Because we don't actually have to do that number chart.'

Michael rolled his eyes.

'Not only is he taking Arithmancy, and loving it, but he's also doing extra credit...Wait, that _is_ extra credit, right? It's not Tony undertaking some crazy assignment just because he thinks it'll impress Professor Vector, right?'

Anthony's ears reddened visibly.

Michael groaned.

'Really, Tony?'

'What? She's an extremely intelligent, competent teacher, and I think she's absolutely wonderful-'

'Tony fancies Professor Vector! Tony fancies Professor Vector!'

'I do not!'

Padma closed her book with an audible clap.

'I am not going to get any reading done if I stay here! I'm going up to my dorm. Good luck with the table, Tony. Mike, why do you have to be so immature?'

He grinned.

'Well, Pad, I am a thirteen-year old-human male. I have an obligation to society to behave in an occasionally crass, slightly inappropriate, and generally immature fashion.'

Padma cocked her head to one side, considering.

'I guess that makes sense, though I'm sure there are exceptions. I'll keep that in mind. It's quite fascinating how social expectations can dictate so much. I wonder how we come up with the agreed upon social conventions? We'll have to discuss that another time. Goodnight, boys.'

And she headed up the girls' staircase, not noticing Michael, who was staring after her, open-mouthed.

'My friends are bloody insane. That's the only explanation for all of this. My friends are insane...individuality is great and all, but this is madness...that was a _joke_! I spent ages working on that one...can't believe she didn't find it funny...can't believe she didn't get it...Tony fancies Professor Vector! Tony fancies...'

He returned to tormenting poor Anthony over his supposed 'crush.'

From behind _The Daily Prophet,_ Terry grinned.

_And Padma even has to ask why I like observing people..._


	3. Trade Off

AN: I'm pretty sure this story has almost no readers, but to all of those (no matter how few of you there are), thanks for reading, and persisting.

* * *

'What are they?'

Padma pointed up at the luggage rack.

The inhabitants of the compartment looked up at her.

Anthony grinned sheepishly, while Ernie puffed out his chest proudly. Hannah blushed, as did Susan, while Justin fiddled with his wand.

Terry simply directed his gaze in the direction she indicated, before answering her question.

'To be honest, I'm not really sure. Ladies, gentlemen, any suggestions?'

Padma raised an eyebrow at him.

'Well, to me, they look like three engorged Flobberworms in school uniform, Slytherin uniforms, to be exact.'

'An excellent description, Miss Patil. Let's take a vote, then. All in favour of naming the aforementioned-'

'It's not funny, Boot!'

'Since when were we on a last-name basis? I'm hurt, Pad!'

'You started it! Someone, please, tell me...wait, could it be...no, you wouldn't dare!'

'Although I am relatively certain most people wouldn't understand what you just said, we did indeed hex and jinx Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle. How we ended up with that effect, I don't know, but it may be worth investigating...'

Padma just stared at Terry and the others.

'What if you get into trouble? Did you _think_ at all when you did that? You can't exactly turn people into goodness-knows-what without consequences!'

Anthony spoke up, fiddling with his Prefect Badge absentmindedly.

'Umm...to be honest, Padma, they started it.'

Hannah piped up.

'They attacked Harry!'

Ernie gave his account.

'So being the loyal D.A. members that we are, we went to his aid.'

Justin grinned.

'And the end result is on display in the luggage rack.'

'So therefore, Pad, you can relax, because we have a very good case in our defence.'

Padma sighed, and sat down between Anthony and Terry, who handed her a Chocolate Frog.

'You should go into Magical Law, Terry...but really, I leave you all here for only an hour to go talk to Vati, and return to find that you've jinxed three people beyond recognition! And Tony, Ernie, Hannah, you're _Prefects_!'

Susan smiled wryly.

'Considering all the school rules we've broken this year, I don't think you Prefects are the most rule-abiding anyway.'

Terry nodded.

'She's got a point, Pad.'

Padma huffed, biting into her Chocolate Frog.

'Well, at least you all did something _interesting_. I had to listen to Vati and Lavender go on and on about that new Divination teacher, Firenze.'

Justin leaned over to Terry, whispering conspiratorially.

'I don't know about you, but I'd take hexing Malfoy and company over giggling girls any day.'


	4. First Encounters of the Sisterly Kind

AN: I apologize for the very long gap between chapters. Real life has been very busy and draining lately.

On a different note, I have written a story involving these four set after their years at Hogwarts, an epilogue of sorts to Lessons. If there is any interest, please let me know, and I shall publish it as soon as I can.

* * *

'Sis!'

Padma turned around quickly at the sound of her twin's voice, and was immediately pushed backwards with the force of Parvati's hug. She might have fallen into the lake were it not for a large tree.

'How are you, sis? It feels like I haven't seen you in _ages_! Oh, you've done your hair like that _again_! You always wear it like that! You've _got_ to let me give you a hand with it, do something different for once! It'll be worth your while, I'll make it look really pretty-'

'No, really, Vati, you don't have to. I like it this way; it keeps it out of the way. Would you mind letting go of me? I do believe my friends are feeling rather awkward, just standing there, watching us.'

Parvati released Padma reluctantly; still looking thoughtfully at her twin's coiled braid, fiddling with the ornamental clip at the end of her plait absentmindedly.

Padma smiled at the three boys standing next to her.

'This is my sister, Parvati.'

Michael grinned.

'Nice to meet you, Parvati. I'm Michael, Michael Corner.'

Parvati grinned right back, batting her eyelashes a little.

Apparently, she found Michael to her liking.

Terry held out his hand.

'Pleased to meet your acquaintance. I'm Terry Boot.'

Parvati took it, and they shook hands.

'How quaint!'

Apparently, Parvati also found it a little odd that an eleven-year-old boy would shake hands with people upon meeting, and use the word 'acquaintance'.

Padma wondered why her sister was using the word 'quaint'. Perhaps living with Hermione Granger was rubbing off on her.

Parvati turned her attention to the third boy, who simply looked down at his feet, ears red, and muttered something.

'Pardon? I didn't quite hear that...'

'His name is Anthony, Anthony Goldstein. He's a little shy sometimes, please don't take it personally.'

Padma smiled her thanks to Terry, for somewhat salvaging the situation.

'Aww! How cute!'

At this, Anthony shuffled his feet and reddened even further.

Parvati turned back to Padma.

'I never thought this day would come! My sister, Padma, friends with three boys! I am so happy for you, sis! They're kind of cute, too...'

She giggled into the palm of her hand.

Padma averted her eyes from the boys, suddenly uncomfortable. Michael blushed, and Terry raised his brows and turned away.

Poor Anthony bore significant resemblance to a beetroot.

Padma decided that she had to do something before the poor boy fainted.

'Vati, how's Lavender?'

Parvati linked arms with her twin, marching them off in the direction of the castle.

'Oh, she's fine! But you really have to let me do your hair now...'

The three boys followed awkwardly at a distance.

In the Entrance Hall, the Gryffindor parted company with the four Ravenclaws.

'See you around, sis! Please use that clip I gave you, it'll look really pretty with your Ravenclaw robes. See you, boys! '

Padma smiled slightly forcefully, waving goodbye to her sister, who smiled back winningly at Michael.

'Well, that was an interesting experience.'

Padma took a deep breath.

'Interesting might not be the word I'd use for it, Terry. Vati is a wonderful sister, but...'

'You and she are a little different.'

Michael still looked a little punch-drunk.

'More than a little different, Terry. Parvati's really pretty, well, not that you aren't too, Padma, but-'

'The two of you are very different people, which is not a bad thing at all. After all, if you were more like your sister, I would fear for Anthony's wellbeing.'

The blonde boy's face was still pink-tinged.

Michael grinned.

'Yeah, Terry's right, Padma. I mean, he's only just managed to start talking in front of you, and most of the blushing is gone. If you actually acted like a girl-'

'Michael, Padma, Anthony, I don't know about you, but I really need to get a start on my Charms essay. Why don't we all go to the Library?'

With that, Terry pushed a reluctant Michael in the direction of the Library before he could say something that might end with an angry, or more likely, upset, Padma, even if she refused to show it.


	5. Muggles Call Them Hormones

AN: This chapter is a change in tone, it's not lighthearted like all the others. It's still friendship though! (I promise that the next chapter will be a return to the light-heartedness.)

* * *

'You love him! Pad, admit it, you love him!'

Padma sighed, rolling up her Transfiguration essay.

'No, I don't, Mike.'

Michael rolled his eyes.

'Maybe you don't know it yet, but you do! I mean, he came all the way up to the castle to ask you to Hogsmeade, and you said _yes_! Of course you love him!'

'Mike, for the last time, I don't.'

Michael spread his arms wide, exasperated.

'Then why in Merlin's name are you going to Hogsmeade with him?'

'Because he's kind and charming, and I might have a good time! Not to mention, since he came all the way up here, I'd feel bad if I didn't!'

'That's not true, and you know it! Look me in the eye, and tell me, in front of Terry and Tony, that you don't love that Beauxbatons boy.'

Padma straightened, eyes piercing Michael's.

'I don't love him. And I'm not falling for him either.'

She picked up her bookbag, heading for the girls' dorms.

Michael was left sitting there sulkily.

'...Okay, she doesn't love him. But how can she do that? She's just stringing him along! That's- that's just so heartless!'

Anthony pushed his reading glasses up nervously.

'Don't let her hear you say that, Mike. She'll be upset if she hears that.'

Michael shook his head.

'If she is, she won't show it much. You do know that quite a few of the other students say that about her; that she's heartless and cold and all, not a teenage girl in any way.'

Anthony glared at his friend.

'Mike, we know she's not heartless. Don't say that about her, she's our friend!'

'Hey, there's no need to get so aggravated over it, mate! I was just repeating what I've heard.'

'Looking at that boy, he's not expecting a soulmate or anything out of this relationship either!'

'But even so, have you ever wondered Padma never falls in love?'

'Mike, she's only fourteen. We're only fourteen. I mean, Terry's never either.'

'But she's a girl, they're supposed to-'

At that, Terry looked up from the piece of parchment he was scribbling on and mumbling at, doubtlessly modifying or inventing some spell.

'Mike, stop it. You are her friend. You know her. You know what they say about her isn't true, and you know that it really does hurt her, even if she doesn't show it. Padma's a private person. It's just her. Accept that.'

'But-'

'No more buts, Michael. Just stop it. If she ever hears about this, it will hurt her. And I know you don't want to do that.'

Anthony nodded in agreement.

'Padma's just who she is, and we're her friend. This ends here, Mike. You're a good friend, so be one.'

Michael threw the ball of parchment in his hands into the fire.

'Fine.'

Michael wasn't normally like this. Not at all. It just seemed that, lately, he'd been getting more and more belligerent, insensitive.

Apparently, it was something Muggles called hormones.

'But really, one last question: how can she live without love? How can she live without falling in love?'

Terry stood suddenly.

'I'm sure she manages. It's not your place to say these things, Mike. What Padma does with her life is none of our business. We're all autonomous.'

He went up the boys' staircase.

Anthony shook his head.

'Mike, just drop it. Please.'

Michael threw the front page of Terry's discarded _Daily Prophet _into the fire.

'...Ever wonder if she cares about us?'

'Mike! Don't say that! I'm sure Padma loves us, in some way. She's our friend.'

Michael kept staring into the fire.

Anthony sighed.

Considering the sheer pain love had constantly caused Michael since some time in Second Year or so, Anthony wondered whether Padma had the right idea with her supposed love-less life. Or Terry with his 'jealousy is futile' belief.

_Growing up, hell, being human, was so difficult..._


	6. Fact and Fiction

AN: A light-hearted chapter, that may or may not be considered crack.

By the way, I also have several more chapters written for this story, as well as three other stories involving these particular Ravenclaws. One is set after Hogwarts and the ending of _Lessons_, one is a comparison of sorts between Padma and Parvati, and one is Terry's existential crisis, set in their Fifth Year. Anyone interested?

* * *

_Lord Terrence Wellington was a serious wizard, who hardly ever smiled. _

_It was said that this was a trait he'd inherited from his father's father, the former, now deceased, Lord Wellington. The Wellingtons were a noble family, but a Muggle family, and as such, the title meant nothing in the wizarding world. There had been much scandal when the daughter of an old, respected wizarding family had married the rarely-smiling Muggle lord. Not as much an outrage as if she'd been the daughter of an aristocratic wizarding family, but a scandal nonetheless. So much so, that when the happy couple's son, Lord Terrence's father, entered Hogwarts, the whispers still dogged him. _

_It was at Hogwarts that Lord Terrence Wellington's father had met Lord Terrence's mother, from whom Lord Terrence had inherited his brown hair and eyes. Lord Terrence's mother was also a half-blood, but born to a Muggleborn witch and pureblood wizard of little name. Their tale was a grand one, but not one for this time. No, today's tale follows their son, Lord Terrence Wellington, and how his life was saved by a young wizard._

_But before we can embark on that tale, we must discover how Lord Terrence Wellington happened to need saving in the first place._

_The young wizard-lord had travelled to the Court, the home of the aristocracy, with the intention of furthering his studies of social behaviour. It was there that he met the Princess. _

_Princess Madpita Pal, the Lotus, was descended from a long line of Indian royalty, a line that also happened to be a long line of pureblood witches and wizards. She and her twin sister, Vitatarpi Pal, of the Mountains, were renowned throughout the world for their beauty. They were also renowned for their differences, for Madpita was studious and clever, whereas Vitatarpi was girly and gossipy. _

_The Princesses' father had moved to Britain with his parents as a small boy, and had attended Hogwarts. When he came of age, he and his parents returned to India, where he married a fellow Indian pureblood witch. But this tale is not about the Princesses' parents, nor is it about Vitatarpi. It is not really about Princess Madpita Pal either. Instead, it is about how Lord Terrence Wellington's life was saved by a young wizard._

_Lord Terrence Wellington, having travelled to the Court and met Princess Madpita Pal, also found himself acquainted with the Court Scribe, another young wizard by the name of Mark Steingold. _

_Mark Steingold was a very shy, studious young wizard, with blond hair and blue eyes, who could not speak to females without blushing and was always losing his reading glasses, a pureblood, born to a father of Polish wizarding stock and a mother whose parents' tale is one worth telling._

_Mark Steingold's mother's parents' tale is one that was written in the stars, a tale of star-crossed lovers to rival even the greatest of ballads. His mother's father's people had been responsible for the deaths of his mother's mother's people, and yet they fell in love. The most powerful magic that has ever existed, much more powerful than any from a wand, bound them together, and against all odds, they married and brought forth Mark Steingold's mother._

_But it does not matter how Mark Steingold came to be, only that he met the young Lord Terrence Wellington, the saving of whom is what this tale is about._

_Lord Terrence, in an uncharacteristic act of stupidity, had decided that he simply had to witness the hatching of Hungarian Horntails first-hand. Despite the best efforts of his friends, Mark Steingold and Princess Madpita, he had embarked on this quest anyway._

_Lord Terrence Wellington soon found himself in trouble, surrounded by Hungarian Horntails, poised to attack. It was at this timely moment that Mikhael Vertex, young wizard-hero extraordinaire, swooped in on his broomstick, saving Lord Terrence and defeating all the Hungarian Horntails._

_Mikhael Vertex and Lord Terrence Welllington returned to the Court, where Mikhael was welcomed and treated as a hero. _

_This was to his great surprise, for he was not of a wealthy family, nor did he have a title, nor was he a pureblood. His mother was one, but his father was a Muggleborn wizard, and his only sibling, an older brother, had done nothing of note, and was not very pleasant, so is not worth mentioning in this tale._

_All the ladies of the Court swooned over the wizard-hero, including both Princesses and Mark Steingold's younger sister, though she was only six, so it was more older-brother worship than swooning._

_Princess Madpita's father was so pleased, in fact, that he gave his daughter's hand in marriage to Mikhael, who delightedly accepted. The King had been most worried while Lord Terrence was away, for his daughter Madpita had worried herself ill, fearing for her friend. _

_The very next day, Princess Madpita, restored to full health, married Mikhael Vertex and they lived happily ever after with their friends Lord Terrence Wellington and Mark Steingold._

* * *

Padma looked up from her Ancient Runes homework, glancing at the dark-haired Third Year boy sitting by the window, scribbling away in a notebook.

'I've been wondering, why did Mike want to know so much about our families, and our family history? He's never had an interest in the subject until now.'

Anthony shrugged.

'It doesn't make much sense, does it? Pad, have you done translation twenty-four? I'm a bit stuck...'

Terry folded his _Daily Prophet _neatly, tucking it into his bookbag.

'Since when did anything Mike does make any sense? Tony, you might find yourself not stuck if you put on your reading glasses.'

'Oh, right. Thanks, Terry. You wouldn't know where they are by any chance?'

'_Accio _Anthony's reading glasses!'

The glasses zoomed out of Michael's bookbag, displacing some loose papers, and landed in Anthony's lap.

'Thanks, Terry.'

Terry busied himself returning the papers to Michael's bag.

As he did, some words, partially scribbled-out, caught his eye.

_The Tale of Lord Terrence Wellington, or Why One Should Never Mess With a Hungarian Horntail, or How Mikhael Vertex Became a Hero and Lived Happily Ever After_

And below that:

_Background Research- To Ask List_

Smiling inwardly to himself, Terry smoothed out the paper and slipped it back inside his friend's bag.

_All fiction, particularly Mike's fiction, is based on fact, after all._


	7. Matchmaker, Matchmaker

'Do you think Macmillan will finally get the guts to ask Hannah?'

Lisa pursed her lips, considering.

'Maybe, but definitely only as friends!'

Mandy smirked.

'Or at least, that's what he'll tell her...'

Padma brushed her hair back, scraping it into a tidy ponytail, which she then began to plait.

_This Yule Ball is causing ridiculous behaviour._

_I know that Lisa and Mandy are Ravenclaw's gossips normally, but this is beyond their usual selves. This is starting to sound like my sister and Lavender..._

'You know, I heard the other day, Susan Bones is going with Finch-Fletchley! And not just as friends!'

'Really? How many people do you think will get together because of this Ball?

'I don't know, but I'm hoping that Anthony asks Su! They'd be so cute together!'

Padma finished her plait, and tied it firmly, beginning to coil her hair into her usual bun.

_Lucky that Su's already gone down to breakfast; this would make her terribly uncomfortable. _

_I hope neither Lisa nor Mandy mentions this to Tony...he'll stop talking to Su, and she won't have any idea why. _

'Ooh! What do you think about Morag and Terry?'

'Sarcasm and wit? Maybe, but I like Morag and Michael more. A sarcastic cynic and a romantic dreamer? They'd balance one another out perfectly.'

'What about Seamus and Lavender? I heard that he's going to ask her!'

'That'd be adorable! Padma, what do you think?'

Padma groaned inwardly.

It was only a matter of time before Lisa and Mandy realized that she was still in their dorm and turned to her.

'I don't know, Lisa, Mandy. I mean, we're all a little young, really, does anyone actually know what they want in a partner?'

The other two girls shook their heads.

'Padma, it's only for fun! No one's looking for a life partner now!'

'Loosen up, Padma! Live a little!'

Mandy turned to Lisa, smiling mischievously.

Padma, with some trepidation, turned to her shoelaces.

'Who should Padma go with, Lisa?'

The other girl giggled.

'Hmm...the good girls always fall for the bad boys! Draco Malfoy, maybe! Or Zabini, or maybe Nott, then they can study in the Library and discuss the news together!'

Padma rubbed her temples, heading out the door to the Common Room.

* * *

'Guys, do you reckon Susan Bones is hot?'

Stephen Cornfoot had quite suddenly sat up and asked that question to the room.

Anthony snored on.

Terry's bed was already neatly made, the occupant having gone to brush his teeth.

Michael's arms reached blearily up from under the covers.

'She's going with Finch-Fletchley, Stephen.'

'Damn. Who should I ask then?'

Kevin's face popped through a gap in his bed hangings.

'If you're desperate, Stephen, ask a girl from one of the lower levels, they'll go with anyone. Or you could pay one to go with you. Or resort to blackmail. Or you could take your cousin.'

Stephen glared at Kevin.

'Really? That's all just downright wrong, Kev! And I don't even have a cousin at Hogwarts!'

The other boy shrugged his shoulders.

'Just pointing out all the options; doesn't mean I actually believe you should follow any of those courses of action.'

'Stop making this so Ravenclaw, guys, it's utterly unromantic! Be romantic! Girls love romance! Flowers and poetry and balconies...long, soft hair...green eyes...melodious voice...the scent of roses and jasmine and rain...'

Michael's face grows dreamlike and misty, his eyes staring out into the distance.

Stephen sighed.

Kevin pinched the bridge of his nose wearily.

'Who is it this time?'

A voice from the doorway replied.

'One of the young ladies from Beauxbatons.'

Stephen looked from Michael, to Terry, who was by now at his own bed, and back again.

'Have you gone mad, Mike? They're the most unattainable girls-'

'...French...blue silk...that lovely laugh...'

Stephen and Kevin just stared at Michael.

They'd seen him lovesick before, but this was a particularly bad case.

Anthony groaned, slowly waking.

Terry stood, having finished the tying of his laces.

'I did warn him, but it seems that my warning was not heeded.'

Michael's lucidity returned suddenly.

'Terry, I've told you, you can't control these things! Love just happens! We can't help it, we are powerless against its magic. We are all but fools in love-'

'-So I've seen, Mike. I'm going down to breakfast. Good morning, Tony.'

A sleepy Anthony sat up, rubbing his eyes.

'Good morning, Terry. What were you all talking about?'

Michael, Stephen and Kevin proceeded to fill him in, and a blush slowly began to creep up Anthony's face.

With one last glance around the dorm, Terry headed down the staircase to the Common Room.

* * *

As Terry arrived at the bottom of the stairs, he noticed Padma rummaging around in the corner.

'Good morning, Pad. Are you looking for something?'

'Morning, Terry. Yes, have you seen my copy of _Alchemy, Ancient Art and Science?'_

Terry raised his brows.

'Isn't it upstairs in your dorm?'

Padma averted her eyes.

'Well, yes...but-'

Feminine giggles could be heard descending the girls' staircase.

'...That would be so adorable, Mandy...'

'...I know, Lisa, can you imagine it? It'd be like Granger and Weasley, just with a little less fighting...'

Terry glanced over at the stairs, then back to Padma.

'-You wish to avoid the company of some of your roommates at breakfast?'

She nodded weakly.

'You're not the only one.'

Padma glanced quizzically at him.

'Have the boys got Yule Ball Fever too?'

Terry joined her in 'looking' for her book, nodding.

'You could call it that.'

Padma shook her head.

'I don't think this Ball was the best idea, was it?'

'Apparently, it's supposed to be a night of fun and frivolity...'

* * *

'What about Padma and Terry?'

Lisa followed Mandy's gaze towards the two Ravenclaws in the corner, who appeared to be looking for something.

She shook her head.

'No, it'll never happen. And they'd be no good for each other. They both need someone to help them loosen up; melt those ice hearts, bring down those walls. Can you imagine how cold and logical and just plain unromantic that relationship would be?'

Michael's voice spoke from behind the girls.

'Talking about our two model Ravenclaws?'

Lisa snorted.

'Just 'cause we're Ravenclaws doesn't mean we have to be logical intellectuals_ all_ the time, Mike.'

Mandy nodded.

'Yep. They'd never work out, would they?'

Michael shook his head.

'I've all but given up hope for those two. I hope they come to their senses soon. No love indeed...'

The two girls shared a glance.

Lisa grinned at Michael.

'I think I have an idea...'

* * *

Padma glanced at the trio leaving the Common Room warily.

'Should we be worried, Terry?'

He replied without looking up from the battered copy of _The Quibbler _that he'd found.

'Probably. I'm afraid they might be losing what little remains of their sanity.'

'No, I was talking about...'

She trailed off, noticing the glint in his eyes as he discarded the magazine.

'You were saying, Pad?'

His face remained almost perfectly deadpan.

Padma couldn't stop a smile coming to her lips.

'Terry!'

'What, Pad?'

'You're deliberately misinterpreting me!'

His face remained neutral.

'I don't understand what you mean, Pad.'

Padma was laughing now, her hand pressed over her mouth.

Slowly, his face cracked into a grin.

* * *

'Terry?'

'Yes, Pad?'

'You were deliberately misinterpreting me, weren't you?'


	8. I Dreamed a Dream

'Yes, yes, of course I'll marry you!'

And the dark-haired girl threw herself into his arms.

Michael looked down at her, confused.

_Padma? Marrying me? Being all giggly and girly and not like Padma at all?_

He noticed the Gryffindor emblem on her robes.

_Parvati. _

_Not that that makes much more sense._

Michael felt himself being lifted to his feet.

Terry grinned at him, holding out a hand, which Michael shook, hesitantly.

_Why in the name of all things is Terry's hair blue?_

'Pleased to meet your acquaintance, brother.'

Michael stared at him.

_Brother?_

_What?_

For the first time, Michael noticed Padma standing next to Terry, his arm around her shoulders, holding a bundle.

She smiled at him.

'Welcome to the family, Michael.'

She passed him the blue bundle, and he looked down upon the familiar face of Anthony Goldstein.

'His name is Anthony, Michael. Terry and I would be very pleased if you would be his godfather.'

Michael stared and stared at his two grinning friends, who were gazing into each other's eyes and being all lovey-dovey.

There was a sudden sharp pain in his left foot.

_Did I drop Anthony?_

_Terry and Padma will kill me..._

* * *

'Michael?'

His eyes snapped open.

He was in the History of Magic classroom, and around him, all the other First Years were leaving, yawning and stretching as they did so.

Terry sat beside him, packing up his things.

'Terry? Oh thank goodness! Couldn't you have woken me up earlier?'

'It would have been futile; you would simply have fallen asleep again immediately.'

Michael shook his head, trying to rid his mind of the images from his dream.

'Binns didn't notice, did he?'

Terry stood, having packed up his books, parchment, ink and quills.

'Of course not. But he will if you can't convince myself or Padma or Anthony to lend you our notes.'

Michael groaned.

'How can you three stay awake?'

_I wish I could have stayed awake..._

They slipped out the door.

A worried-looking Padma stood in the corridor, waiting for them.

'Terry, Michael, is Anthony upset at me?'

'No.'

'What gave you that idea, Padma?'

'Well, Michael, when I sat down next to him in class, he went all red. And then when I tried to talk to him when everyone was leaving for lunch, he sort of ignored me and ran away...and now I feel really bad, because what if I did offend him? He seemed really uncomfortable, and-'

Terry interrupted her.

'-You haven't upset him, Padma. Don't worry about it.'

'But Terry-'

'-You haven't done anything. He's not upset. Now, I don't know about you, but I would really like some lunch...'

* * *

Michael trailed after his friends on the way to the Great Hall, shaking his head, trying to clear his mind.

_Parvati hugging him...Terry with blue hair...Padma and Terry being married...Anthony the baby...Anthony as Terry and Padma's son...Anthony his godson...Terry and Padma being all mushy...Anthony blushing and avoiding Padma..._

_At least it was all a dream._

_Wait!_

_Anthony blushing and avoiding Padma..._

_Merlin's beard!_

_Anthony fancied Padma!_

Michael slumped down at the Ravenclaw Table, head reeling.

_Anthony fancied Padma... _

Unbidden, the image of baby Anthony came to the forefront of his mind.

'_...Terry and I would be very pleased if you would be his godfather...'_

Michael fell forward into a platter of sandwiches before him.

'That's not the most efficient way to eat sandwiches, Michael.'

'Are you alright?'

He groaned.

'No.'


	9. Operation Ginger Newts

'Erm...Pad, are you alright?'

There was a muffled yelp that sounded vaguely like _Mike!_

'Of course she's not alright! Her date, that git-'

'-Pad is not deaf, Mike. She can hear us and is probably thinking about how best to tell us that she's alright, even if she isn't.'

Padma sighed to herself.

Trying to keep things from Terry was very difficult indeed.

He'd been watching her like a hawk in the days since the Yule Ball Incident.

She got up from her seat by the window, turning around to face her friends.

'I'm probably not as upset as you all think, really. I guess it would have been nice if he'd paid me a little more attention, I did spend three hours getting ready, after all. But then again, it's not as if he actually asked me to the Ball, and it's not as if I was expecting much, honestly. I suppose it would have been nice if he-'

Michael flung his arms around her.

'You need a hug.'

He held on to her tightly for a moment, then let go.

'Well, come on, the girl needs a hug!'

Terry shook his head at Michael, but hugged Padma briefly anyway.

'You're not unappreciated, Pad. We appreciate you.'

Anthony didn't hug her, but patted her on the back awkwardly.

'You've- you've still got us, right? And it could have been worse. The Yule Ball Incident isn't the worst thing that could have happened, right?'

Michael nodded at her.

'It's going to be okay, Pad. We'll get him back for you, I promise.'

'I really don't think that's necessary, Mike. No offence to you three, but he is a teenage boy-'

'-But he was a downright git! Spending the whole evening staring at Granger-'

'-He was rather rude, Mike, but I had an okay time, I guess. The Beauxbatons boys were rather nice, even if they were a bit, well, _forward _for my liking-'

'-Leaving her all alone to be drooled over by those French idiots-'

'-As I recall, Mike, your opinion of the French was much better last week-'

'-Shut up, Terry. In fact, I've got half a mind to hex him and punch him in the nose for good measure!'

'Mike, you getting detention for a week will not make Pad feel any better. In fact, it'll only make her worry.'

'Terry's right, Mike. But we're not going to just let this be, that's what the plan is for.'

Padma smiled slightly.

The boys were protective of her, in their own ways.

'What is this plan you speak of, Tony?'

'Well, it's something that the three of us thought up last night. It's a plan for you to get revenge on Ron Weasley. It's called Operation Ginger Newts.'

Padma glanced at Terry.

'_You _let them do this? You _helped _them do this? You_ support_ this?'

'I didn't endorse the operation name, Pad, but I did indeed help concoct it. What is necessary is never wrong.'

'And it's necessary that I get revenge on Ron Weasley?'

'It's necessary that you cheer up and feel better for yourself.'

Michael grinned.

'And this plan will do just that! Tony, do you have the notebook?'

Anthony nodded, opening up one of Michael's notebooks.

'Well, as you can see in this illustration, Stage One is Pretend to be Keen on Ron Weasley...'

There were fourteen stages in this plan altogether, and each one was illustrated with a sketch by Terry.

Padma was holding her sides, sore from laughter, by the time they reached Stage Fourteen- Invite the Giant Squid for Tea.

_There are definitely worse things that could have happened to me than the Yule Ball Incident..._

'Really, boys?'

Michael and Anthony nodded earnestly.

Terry just looked back at her, expressionless.

Padma had a sneaking suspicion that he only endorsed the plan because he knew this entire presentation would cheer her up, not because he actually supported revenge on Ron Weasley.

'So what do you say, Pad? Are we going to implement Stage One?'

Padma smiled at Michael, somewhat uncomfortably.

'I suppose when there's a proper time to do so. I can't just suddenly start acting like that towards him...'

She was saved by Luna Lovegood.

'There's a boy from Beauxbatons outside to see you, Padma. He looks a little lost... I think he's got Wrackspurts...be careful of the Nargles, there's a lot around because of all the mistletoe.'

Padma stood, slipping out of the Common Room.

Michael grinned.

'It looks like Prince Charming came to Padma's rescue after all! Can you just imagine it? A beautiful young girl, abandoned by her date, swept off her feet by a handsome gentleman, a wonderful Frenchman...'

Terry shook his head and returned to the spell he was inventing.

_Perhaps I should turn my attention to something that'll cause Mike to make his mind up about the French..._

_That'd be magic indeed._


	10. Where Do All The Lost Things Go?

'Mike, have you seen my reading glasses?'

'No. Tony, have you seen my eagle-feather quill?'

Anthony rummaged around desperately, looking for his glasses, throwing his robes, some parchment, a pair of underpants and his flute out of his trunk.

'Ouch! That bloody flute case is hard!'

'Sorry, Mike! Oh...I think I might have found your quill.'

'Cheers, Tony. No luck with your glasses though.'

The Third Year Ravenclaw Boys' Dorm was a mess.

(Terry's area was the only one that could be considered remotely neat.)

While Anthony was obsessive about his books and his homework, and Kevin just had to have his dinner set out in a certain way before he'd eat it, and Stephen always had to wear blue pyjamas the day before a Quidditch match, unfortunately, their obsessive qualities didn't extent to neatness.

Michael tossed his favourite jumper over his shoulder, now looking for one of his notebooks.

Anthony carefully sorted various items into piles, one pile containing the things he'd sifted through in search of his glasses, and one that he'd yet to search.

Michael practically glared at the combined bedside table and bookshelf beside Terry's bed. Tidy shelves, with books and homework organized by subject, and an alarm clock on the table with a sketchbook and a notebook resting beside it.

_How is he so bloody neat? It's inhuman!_

Familiar voices floated through the half-open door.

'I'm not an artist like Dean Thomas, Pad. I sketch.'

'What's the difference? They both involve drawing...'

'Thomas draws things from his own mind. I draw things that are there.'

The door opened fully, and Padma and Terry got an eyeful of the mess.

'Don't you boys ever tidy up?'

'It is even worse than this morning, though how that's possible, I don't know. What are you looking for?'

'Umm...my notebook, Tony's reading glasses, Kevin's comic book, Stephen's favourite shirt and Mandy's Charms assignment. Is that all, Tony?'

'You left out the Holyhead Harpies poster.'

'Oh, yeah, Morag's Holyhead Harpies poster too.'

'What are Mandy's Charms assignment and Morag's Holyhead Harpies poster doing in the _boys' _dorm?

Terry sighed.

'Mike borrowed Mandy's assignment, and Stephen and Kevin thought it'd be funny to steal Morag's poster.'

'She'll kill them. We'd better find it.'

Anthony groaned.

'We can't find anything in here! How come the girls never seem to be losing stuff?'

Padma waved her wand and muttered an incantation, and Anthony's clothes began to fold themselves and return to his trunk.

'Because Su and I like things neat and tidy, Morag restricts her mess to her part of the dorm and we convinced Mandy and Lisa to clean up once a week.'

Michael watched as his socks began pairing themselves up.

'And because you know more cleaning spells than my mother!'

Padma smiled.

'I got my mother to show me the incantations and wand movements the summer before First Year. It took me until the start of this year to master them, but they're very useful indeed.'

'You've got to teach us, Pad. Oh, thanks, Terry!'

Anthony's reading glasses had flown into his lap, courtesy of Terry's Summoning Charm.

'You're a wizard, Tony. Just Summon them whenever you lose them.'

Soon, the dorm was neat and clean, clothes folded into trunks, beds made, rubbish in the bin.

'I'm sure things will stay much tidier now that we know some household spells, right everyone?'

Michael snorted in disbelief.

'No, they won't, Tony. We'll just get even lazier.'

Padma sighed.

'How do you all stand it? I mean, mess isn't _too_ bad, but always losing things...'

Terry shook his head.

'I gave up trying to keep this place tidy a term into First Year, Pad.'

They heard pounding footsteps from the stairwell.

'She's gaining on us, Kev!'

'Entwhistle! Cornfoot! Come back here!'

Terry grabbed the Holyhead Harpies poster, tossing it to Michael, who was nearer the door.

'Morag has noticed that her poster's missing. Mike, can you go save Kevin and Stephen?'

The two boys burst into the room, panting.

They did a double take.

'What- what happened?'

'I must be dreaming!'

'Are you sure this is _our_ dorm?'

'_I wonder_ _where_ they've gone? Oh, look, maybe I should try the _Third Year Boys' Dorm_!'

Kevin and Stephen gulped.

They were so dead.

Michael handed Stephen the poster.

'Here. Now go, before she kills all of us.'

Kevin looked pleadingly at Padma.

'Please? Help us?'

She shook her head.

'I'm not getting involved; I live with Morag, and I know her temper.'

Kevin turned to Terry.

'Please, mate?'

Terry glanced at the door, then at Kevin.

'You got yourselves into this mess; I'm not talking you out of it. Perhaps it may prove an incentive to keep this room relatively tidy from now on.'

'You'll come to the funeral, right?'

'I'd prefer to be cremated rather than buried.'

With that, Kevin and Stephen braced themselves and left the sanctuary of the dorm to confront the scariest girl in Ravenclaw Tower.

Padma turned to Terry.

'Should we have helped them, Terry? Morag won't actually kill them, will she?'

'No, we shouldn't have. She might.'


	11. Ordinary Young Wizards and Witches

'Mine's longer than yours.'

Michael grinned smugly at Anthony.

'There's nothing wrong with mine! It's a perfectly good-'

'But still, mine's longer.'

'That doesn't make it better, Mike. In fact, it doesn't even matter-'

'Yes, it does. Size does matter. I mean-'

Terry turned to his bickering friends.

'Firstly, if we're going to be comparing, mine's longer than both of yours. Secondly, after a certain threshold, size does not matter. It makes absolutely no difference to performance-'

From her perch on a rock, Padma eyed her three friends with some confusion.

'-If it helps, yours are all longer than mine. But honestly, why are we even having this conversation? Why does wand length matter? I mean, Terry's right. Although wands need to be of a certain length to be effective for spell-casting, past that, a couple of inches doesn't make any difference at all.'

Michael turned his face away, shoulders shaking.

'You have absolutely no idea what you've just said, have you, Pad?'

She cocked her head to the side quizzically.

'What are you talking about, Mike? I know what I just said. I was talking about wand length and how it doesn't matter!'

Anthony's ears, which had been slowly flushing, were quite red by this point.

Terry raised an eyebrow at Michael.

'Mike, Pad does indeed know what she's talking about. May I remind you that she is much better informed about wandlore than you? After all, you're the one who thinks that longer wands equate to more spell-casting power, which any wandmaker will tell you isn't true.'

'Come on, Terry! You got it too! You understand what-'

'-Mike, we didn't come out here to discuss wand length; we came out here to practice our Patronuses. I suggest we get on to that now. We've only got a few days of term left, and after that, we'll have to wait all summer before we can practice again.'

Padma nodded.

'We have to practice, or we'll forget over summer. And with what's coming, we're going to need to be prepared...'

There was silence for a moment, before Michael spoke.

'Your O. will be fine, Pad. Just you wait until you get ten Outstandings, and beat us all.'

They smiled weakly at Michael's attempt at a joke.

But none of them were fooled.

They were going to need to be prepared.

There was a war coming, after all.

All four glanced around at their school, at the grounds, at each other.

Without a word, Terry stood, taking a deep breath, taking in the Lake before him and his friends beside him.

He raised his wand.

'Expecto Patronum!'

A silver hawk erupted from his wand tip.

Padma smiled, while Anthony watched admiringly.

Michael shook his head.

'Show-off.'

'Mike!'

'Just kidding, Pad!'

Terry had been the first, and only, of their group to produce a corporeal Patronus during the DA meetings.

In their last meeting, Padma had come quite close, producing an indistinct shape that appeared to be a bird of some kind.

Michael and Anthony had yet to get past clouds of mist.

(Michael because he was too busy staring at Ginny, Anthony because he tended to crack under pressure, and, as he constantly insisted, he was a theorist, and a theorist only.)

Terry turned to his still-seated friends.

'Are you going to watch me all afternoon, or are you going to practice yourselves?'

A small smile graced her face, and Padma rose, drawing her wand.

'Expecto Patronum!'

A silvery shape emerged from her wand tip, and took flight.

The four friends watched as the silver owl circled them.

Michael grinned, pulling Padma into a hug.

'Nice work, Pad!'

Anthony continued watching the owl, transfixed.

Terry smiled at her.

'A very appropriate form. Great job, Pad. Hold on to that happy memory and you should be able to do it every time.'

* * *

The rest of the afternoon passed in hard work, as the four Ravenclaws practiced the hardest charm they knew.

'Expecto Patronum!'

'Expecto Patronum! Damn it! Expecto-'

'Take a deep breath, Mike. Focus. Think happy thoughts.'

'Expecto-drat!'

'Be careful, Tony. You don't want to fall into the Lake!'

'Expecto Patronum!'

'Expecto Patronum!'

Padma gasped as the two silvery shapes emerged from Michael and Anthony's wands.

'You did it! Congratulations!'

Terry smiled as Michael shook his head.

'A dolphin. A bloody dolphin.'

'There's nothing wrong with dolphins, Mike.'

'But still, a bloody dolphin! It's swimming in mid-air!'

'Terry, do you think mine's a tortoise or a turtle? Pad and I aren't quite sure...'

'Tony, what's the difference between a tortoise and a turtle? Does it even matter?'

'I think it does, Mike! Remember, back in Third Year, the Transfiguration exam-'

'-We don't speak of that, Tony!'

'Mike, it was two years ago. In all honesty, it could have been worse. It could have been like what Hannah Abbott did to that ferret-'

'-Just because you could do a perfect teapot-to-tortoise spell in Third Year doesn't mean you have to rub it in, Terry!'

'Mike-'

'-And you can't say anything either, Pad!'

Anthony sighed.

'No matter how many books I read, not a single one addresses how one should remedy a singing, dancing tortoise.'

The four shared a laugh.

Anthony's tortoise, for unknown reasons, had started singing and dancing. It was otherwise a normal tortoise, but it seemed to have a theatrical flair.

None of them had ever heard of a tortoise that sang about being a teapot. Nor had they heard of one that liked to do so with matching dance moves.

When the laughter had died down, Anthony turned to Michael.

'See, Mike? Yours turned out much better than mine.'

Michael snorted.

'At least yours was funny, Tony.'

'Funny doesn't mean anything to Professor McGonagall.'

* * *

'Mike, you never actually told us how you went on your Transfiguration exam in Third Year...'

Padma looked at Michael expectantly across the table.

Michael shook his head, swallowing his mouthful of steak and kidney pie.

'That, Pad, is a secret that I will take with me to my grave.'

And he went right back to shovelling down his food.

Padma turned to Anthony.

'Tony, could you pass those mashed potatoes? Terry, how many pork chops have you had? Three? Four? You're going to be sick!'


	12. My Friends are Bloody Mental

AN: This is the last chapter that I have written for now. Coming up, I will be publishing _Reversing Causality, or Terry Boot's existential crisis, _followed by _Split_, a Padma and Parvati comparison story and _For Your Consideration, _an Epilogue to _Lessons._

* * *

'Padma?'

The Second Year girl in question simply shifted slightly in her sleep.

She'd been exhausted all day for some reason.

Apparently, she hadn't been able to sleep the night before.

Terry had also noticed that she seemed to have stomach pains of a sort.

When he'd asked her about it, she had just run off for some reason.

Mandy, Lisa, Morag and Su had refused to answer his questions.

He was completely baffled.

That was most unusual.

He tapped her on the shoulder, trying to rouse his friend.

'Padma, wake up. You're bending the edges of your book, and I know how much you hate that...'

She shot awake immediately.

'What? Oh, hello, Terry.'

He pointed at _Gadding with Ghouls._

'You've bent it.'

She frowned, trying to smooth out the corners.

'At least it's only a Lockhart book...'

Terry raised an eyebrow.

'_Only _a Lockhart book? I've never heard you treat a book with so much disdain!'

Padma closed the book firmly, placing it under a heavy pile of Lockhart books, still trying to get the creases out.

'Just because the brightest witch in our year loves him doesn't mean that we all do. I know he's done some wonderful things, but until I see him at least be a somewhat competent teacher, I'm afraid I'll have little respect for him.'

Michael looked up from the parchment notebook he'd been writing in, mumbling to himself.

'Did I just hear Padma say that she didn't respect a teacher? Who are you, and what have you done with the real Padma?'

Padma turned to Michael, sighing.

'Michael, I can assure you, that I am indeed Padma Patil. I can answer security questions if you wish. And I am perfectly capable of not respecting a teacher; I believe that while they must be accorded some respect by the dint of their occupation, they are also required to earn respect. Professor Lockhart has not demonstrated any teaching ability whatsoever, and since I don't think I'm going to learn anything from him this year, I have little respect for him and his teaching.'

Anthony looked up fearfully from his Transfiguration homework, pushing his reading glasses back up his nose.

'Do you really think we're not going to learn anything, Padma?'

Padma nodded grimly.

'That's what I'm worried about, Anthony. If we don't learn anything, we'll fail our DADA exam!'

Anthony looked absolutely terrified at this.

'But-but...what'll we do? We can't fail! We'll-'

'Padma, Anthony, calm down. Firstly, Professor Lockhart writes the exam. If his current teaching is anything to go by, there won't be anything that will actually worry us. The month before the exam, we can just memorize his books.'

Padma nodded slowly, breathing deeply. Anthony's expression smoothed somewhat.

Michael just watched the scene with mild interest.

'You said you had a second point, Terry?'

The other boy nodded.

'Indeed I do, Michael. All the other Professors do know that he is incompetent. Have you noticed Professor McGonagall's expression lately?'

'It's the same as it always was, Terry. Strict and stern and scary.'

'It's different, Michael. I'm sure of it. Padma, Anthony, you don't have to worry. It will all be alright.'

Anthony nodded slowly, turning back to his Transfiguration.

Padma tilted her head to the side, considering.

'Are you sure, Terry? I mean-'

'-How often am I wrong, Padma?'

She sighed.

'Not often.'

'In your opinion, does my logic make sense?'

'Yes.'

He smiled at her.

'Then stop worrying, Padma. There's nothing to worry about.'

He paused for a moment.

'There was an interesting article in the_ Prophet_ today; would you like to read it? I'd like to get your view on it.'

And with that, Terry fished _The Daily Prophet _out of his bookbag, and indicated an article to Padma. Within minutes, they were discussing it wholeheartedly.

Michael returned to his poetry.

To be honest, he really doesn't care about the state of relations between the wizarding communities of Great Britain and Bulgaria. Even if the Bulgarians are threatening to stop talking to the English. (Terry and Padma don't seem to think that they'll follow through on that; an empty threat, he says.)

He also doesn't care about the rumours of a study into cauldron-bottom thickness. (Terry says that with the rate that Ministry makes decisions and implements policy, it will be at least two years before anything happens. He and Padma share a dry laugh and a joke about that.)

He doesn't care if _The Quibbler_ is publishing something on the Rotfang Conspiracy again either. (Padma shakes her head at that, Luna Lovegood seems like a lovely girl, but her father's crazy views simply have no evidence to back them up.)

Anthony was still diligently finishing his Transfiguration homework.

Terry and Padma had finished dissecting the _Prophet,_ it seemed.

'Not having a reason not to do something is a terrible reason for doing something, Terry.'

'But it's still a valid reason. I agree that it's not a good reason, but it is still a valid reason.'

'What's the difference between a good reason and a valid reason?'

Michael groaned and turned once more back to his poetry.

_Merlin's beard, my friends are bloody mental._

* * *

_Quaffles are red, _

_My House is blue,_

_Sugar quills are sweet,_

_And so are you._


	13. Kids in a Candy Store

AN: I hope everyone had a nice festive season, and a good 2013 so far.

I've got a few things in the works right now, including another chapter of _If Three's a Crowd_, as well as a crack story called _No Such Thing as an Ordinary Day, _about Parvati Patil's weirdest day ever. (It will use the characterizations from this story and the others of the same 'universe'.) I also have a small collection of very short oneshots titled _Paternity, _about how the women of Harry Potter told the men of their impending fatherhood...and the men's reactions.

* * *

'Ugh!'

Michael pulled a face.

Padma shook her head.

'What is it this time, Mike?'

The boy in question was now frantically trying to clean his tongue.

'Soap and tripe, I think. Tastes funny.'

'Mike, not only do you insist on eating the more exotic-looking Every Flavour Beans, you also insist on eating them two at a time. You are obviously going to end up with some unpleasant and unusual flavours.'

Michael glared at Terry.

'One day, Terry, I'm going to chance upon a combination that tastes so amazingly wonderful that it'll all be worth it.'

'And then you're going to spend the rest of your life attempting to chance upon it again.'

Michael pouted and popped another two Beans in his mouth.

Anthony swallowed his mouthful of Liquorice Wand, turning to his friend.

'Terry's right, you know.'

Michael's only reply was to swallow and make a face.

Terry simply raised an eyebrow, while Padma looked at Michael worriedly.

'Sardines and marmalade. I think. Tastes like sugared fish.'

'Mike, if you keep going, you might well be sick!'

He held up another two Beans.

'Come on, Pad, live a little! A risk with every mouthful! It's fun.'

'It doesn't sound very enjoyable to me, Mike.'

The Ravenclaw girl bit into her chocolate bar.

'But Pad, you only bought chocolate! That's boring! Why don't you try anything else?'

'I don't really like sweets, apart from chocolate, Mike.'

'Besides, she doesn't have to purchase some of nearly everything in the shop like you two. You're both completely broke.'

Michael and Anthony shook their heads.

'But-but Terry, it's _Honeydukes_! How can you not buy everything?'

'I can't believe it. Really, Pad, how can you not like _all _sweets? I mean, for once, even Tony agrees with me!'

The blond boy nodded and opened his Honeydukes bag, withdrawing a Fizzing Whizzbee.

'Here, have one, Pad! They're very nice.'

She declined, placing it back in his hand.

'No thank you, Tony. Vati gave me one once, and I didn't really like it.'

'Pad, you can't go to _Honeydukes _and only buy chocolate!'

'Why not, Mike?'

'You- you just _can't_! I mean, there's Sugar Quills, and Pepper Imps, and Ice Mice, and Jelly Slugs, and Drooble's, and Exploding Bonbons-'

'-And also Acid Pops, Cockroach Cluster and Blood-flavoured Lollipops. Mike, not everything in Honeydukes is something to rave about. After all, I doubt you'd enjoy an Acid Pop.'

Anthony swallowed his last bite of Liquorice Wand.

'Terry's got a point, Mike.'

Michael huffed.

'He's the one who only purchased peppermint-flavoured sweets. Tooth-flossing Stringmints indeed.'

Terry shrugged.

'I like the taste.'

'Next time, I'm getting an Acid Pop. Anyone care to join me?'

'Mike, you can't do that! You'll burn a hole in your tongue!'

'You only live once, Pad! I'm going to try it.'

Anthony groaned.

'You're on your own, Mike. I'm not trying one of those.'

'Terry? Please? For the sake of, I don't know, intellectual experimentation?'

Terry just looked at Michael, an eyebrow raised.

Michael's shoulders slumped.

'You're all boring.'

'No we're not!'

'No, you're boring, Tony.'

'We are not boring!'

'Are so!'

'Are not!'

'Are so!'

Terry and Padma shared a glance.

'I don't think they should be allowed so much sugar, Terry...'

Her fellow Ravenclaw nodded.

Sugar appeared to have strange effects on their friends.

'We must keep that in mind next time, Pad. Mike, Tony, how about going to The Three Broomsticks for some Butterbeer?'

'That sounds great, Terry. Let's go!'

'But I want to go to Zonko's!'

'The Three Broomsticks!'

'Zonko's!'

'Butterbeer!

'Nose-biting teacups!'

Michael and Anthony continued to glare at each other.

'Pad, next time, I think we should save Honeydukes for last.'

The Ravenclaw girl nodded wearily.

'Definitely. Chocolate, Terry?'

He accepted.

'I'm not normally fond of chocolate, but I think I need some. And not just because of the Dementors.'

'Are so!'

'Are not!'

'Are so!'


	14. The Hot List

'No, I did not have any input on The List! I've already told you...I know no more about it than you do.'

Padma attempted to walk away from the burly Seventh Year Gryffindor, but he easily blocked her way, smirking.

'It would be wiser to ask for information about The List from someone who is actually informed, McLaggen, not someone who knows no more, or I'd wager even less, than you.'

Terry's eyes were fixed on Cormac McLaggen, his face impassive.

The Gryffindor turned on his heels and stormed off, muttering about unfeminine Ravenclaw girls immune to his charms and threats from creepily stoic Ravenclaw boys.

Terry raised an eyebrow.

'I didn't threaten him; I merely gave him advice. He chose to interpret it as a threat.'

Padma smiled.

'Thanks, Terry.'

'No problem, Pad. You were looking rather uncomfortable; more so than when you were dealing with the others. McLaggen is particularly persistent.'

Padma sighed.

'I have the beginnings of a migraine, I think. Vati and Lavender's List may well drive me insane.'

'You might be already.'

She laughed.

'Then so are you.'

'Indeed. For all we know, everyone could be insane.'

'But then we'd all be sane, and the sane would be insane.'

'True. Insanity is relative, after all.'

'But even so, The List is a lot of trouble. I sometimes wonder how Vati and I can be twins.'

'You're not the only one. Thirteen boys so far have asked you, and it's only been two days since they wrote it.'

Padma looked puzzled.

'But I only found out about it this morning, and news of it is still spreading around the school...but then again, you're Terry, so of course you know.'

'I don't know everything, Pad.'

'I constantly doubt the truth of that, Terry. Would you have any idea how to contain the trouble The List is causing me?'

'Word will eventually get around that you truly don't know more about it than everyone else, and that you won't attempt to obtain it for anyone. Most importantly, after a couple of weeks, everyone will begin to forget about it anyway.'

'That won't come a day too soon.'

They'd reached the Common Room knocker, and awaited the question.

'What is real?'

'Everything except what is unreal, and as nothing can be proven unreal, everything.'

'But Terry, by the same token, everything except what is real is unreal, and as nothing can be proven real either, nothing is real.'

'Everything or nothing, then.'

The door opened, and they stepped into the Common Room, only to be immediately met by Michael and Anthony.

'Pad, Tony and I have a favour to ask of you.'

'It's not really a favour, Mike; after all, I'm going read over hers-'

'-Wait, Pad has a List too?'

Anthony frowned.

'What? No, it's an essay, Mike, not a list. Remember, Flitwick gave us-'

'-You were talking about Charms homework?'

The Prefect nodded.

'Of course. What were you talking about?'

'The List!'

'What list?'

'_The_ List!'

Padma groaned and headed up to her dorm.

Anthony and Michael stared after her.

'What's wrong with Pad?'

'It's not.._.it_, is it?'

'No, Mike, it is not. She just has a rather bad headache, which is unsurprising after being bothered all day about The List.'

_'What is_ the list?'

Poor Anthony looked as if he would explode from curiosity.

'You don't know about The List? How could you not know about The List? Everyone knows about The List!'

'Mike, evidently not everyone knows. Tony, The List is what the whole school population is calling an article created by Parvati and Lavender ranking the attractiveness of all the males in Sixth and Seventh Year.'

'And every bloke in Sixth and Seventh Year wants to see it!'

'Not every bloke, Mike.'

'Well, except maybe the ones who play for the other team.'

'And me.'

Michael rolled his eyes.

'And you, of course, Terry. Why not is beyond me.'

Terry sat down on an armchair, extracting a newspaper from his bookbag as he spoke.

'Because I don't care how attractive Parvati and Lavender find me. '

Michael rolled his eyes yet again.

* * *

'Terry, Tony, do you think Pad will give me The List?'

'I don't think so, Mike...'

'No.'

'Mike, Terry, do I want to see The List?'

'No.'

'Do you care how attractive Parvati and Lavender find you?'

Anthony looked somewhat miffed.

'Thanks, Mike.'

* * *

'Mike, Terry, do you think Pad will proofread my Charms essay for me?'

'She will if you wait until Saturday, when she no longer has a migraine and can avoid queries about The List.'

Michael just threw his hands up in exasperation.


	15. Would You Like Confetti With That?

AN: By sheer coincidence, the next chapter of this story happened to be set on Valentine's Day. Unfortunately, it's not romantic. (Well, it might be if you really, really read into it.) My most Valentine's Day appropriate Harry Potter story would probably be _For Your Consideration, _followed by _Lessons. _

* * *

'Morning, Pad.'

Terry poured water into her goblet.

'Thanks, Terry. Good morning to you, and to Anthony as well.'

The blond boy groaned.

'Not a good morning.'

Terry filled the slumped-over boy's goblet with pumpkin juice.

'Mornings are never good for you, Anthony. Though, I'd say this one is particularly bad, judging from the confetti. You should drink your pumpkin juice before too much of it gets in.'

Padma bit into a piece of toast. (Thankfully confetti-free.)

'Am I right in assuming that a certain DADA Professor is behind all of this?'

'You assume correctly.'

Padma put down her toast.

'First utter classroom incompetence, then Potter's arm, then the Duelling Club fiasco, and now _this_?'

'You have confetti in your hair, Padma. Brace yourself; I believe it will get worse. '

Padma sighed.

'I know logically that's possible, and quite likely, but...'

Terry nodded.

'I've never been very fond of pink either. And confetti isn't an acquired taste.'

She smiled slightly, emptying her bowl of confetti before helping herself to porridge.

'I think Vati may be enjoying this, she has always been fonder of Valentine's Day and romance and pink than I.'

Padma was now ladling porridge into another two bowls, passing one to Anthony.

Terry handed her the cinnamon, and took his own bowl of porridge, while she sprinkled the spice over her own.

'Well, at least you don't go beetroot red and mumble when Lisa and Mandy giggle at you.'

Anthony sat up and glared at Terry.

'Terry-'

'-Good, you're now relatively awake and aware. Here's your banana, and beware of the confetti in your porridge.'

Padma glanced over at the empty spot beside her.

'Where's Michael?'

Anthony ignored her.

He was not a morning person.

Terry swallowed his mouthful of porridge.

'He went off with Mandy and Lisa. I believe they're arranging for the sending of Valentines.'

Padma looked worried.

'Could that be dangerous? I mean, with Professor Lockhart organizing it...you needed a Blood-Replenishing Potion after the Duelling Club, Terry!'

'My nose did stop bleeding eventually, Padma. And I'm afraid it may well be, given that Michael and love, and therefore Valentines, is shaping up to be a dangerous combination.'

'I'm still really sorry about your nose, Terry. I didn't mean to do that.'

'It was not your fault, Anthony.'

Anthony was now beginning to act like his usual self.

Breakfast tended to take him from Morning-Anthony to Normal-Anthony.

Michael approached the Ravenclaw Table with Mandy and Lisa, sporting the grin that they'd first seen a month ago, and now recognized as his lovesick grin.

Anthony's face suddenly matched the confetti falling from the ceiling in colour.

Padma sighed and tipped some Pixie Puffs into a bowl, setting it down at the place beside her.

Michael hugged her.

'Thanks, Padma! You're wonderful! I can't believe you remembered that Pixie Puffs are my favourite breakfast ever!'

'But that's not really very significant, Michael, I've been your friend for over a year. And you sit next to me at breakfast every morning. And you always have Pixie Puffs...'

Terry just sat there, picking confetti out of his porridge.

_He's probably one of the very few people I know of who could do that, while sitting opposite a lovesick Michael, with pink heart-shaped confetti in his hair, and indeed over nearly everything, with a completely straight face._

Padma began to fish the confetti out of her own breakfast.

_How he does it, I don't know..._


	16. Pre-Match Rituals

AN: The other day, I received a text message from a friend, asking who I was, as someone had changed the names of all the contacts on her phone. Apparently, my name had been changed to Padma Patil. Coincidence? Let's see what Padma and Terry think...

* * *

'You've finished your Astronomy chart. Why are you still up, Pad?'

The Third Year girl, curled up by the window, put down her telescope, turning away from the night sky.

'Is it late, Terry?'

He nodded and sat down beside her, crossing his legs with some difficulty.

He was currently experiencing a sudden growth spurt.

'You're usually in bed by this hour.'

'I guess I lost track of time, Terry.'

'Something caught your eye?'

She nodded.

'I suppose so. I got kind of lost in the stars for a bit.'

'It's been a tad longer than a bit, Pad. It's been nearly an hour since I left to get ready for bed, and you're still here. Although, they're rather beautiful.'

She frowned, noticing that he was clad in his pyjamas.

'I thought you said you were going to bed?'

'I thought _you _said you were going to bed as soon as you finished your chart.'

She sighed.

'Fair point. But then why are you down here?'

'I'd rather not be up in the dorm right now, and I know that I wouldn't be able to sleep if I was. The match against Gryffindor is tomorrow. That Astronomy chart is due next class. Kevin got a package in the post today and Mike's still obsessed with his latest project.'

'Tony's still working on the chart? It's late; he should be going to sleep!'

He raised an eyebrow.

'Look who's talking, Pad. Tony insists that he can get a better view of Io from the window in our dorm.'

She shook her head.

'Tony works too hard. I worry for him, sometimes.'

'Pad-'

'-I know, Terry. I do too. I'll go up to bed in a moment...wait, how does Tony doing homework, Kevin's parcel, Mike's project or the Quidditch match tomorrow affect your ability to sleep?'

He smiled wryly.

'Tony doing homework isn't the problem. However, since tomorrow is the match, Stephen has to wear his blue pyjamas to bed. The problem is he can't find them.'

'So presumably, he's rummaging around like crazy trying to find them?'

Terry nodded.

'He'll be up all night doing that. You're not going to get any sleep. You know, Terry, why don't you just Summon them for him?'

Summoning Charms were not normally taught to Third Years. Terry was one of the few who'd taught himself, and he usually Summoned his friends' lost objects.

'I am trying to provide an incentive for keeping the dorm tidy, though I now see that my attempts are bound for failure.'

She smiled.

'You're not the only one. My teaching of cleaning spells didn't seem to help either. But where does Kevin's parcel fit in?'

'It was a parcel from his parents. And it contained Muggle comic books.'

'Oh. I'm glad that I am not in your dorm right now.'

'So am I.'

'It's a terrible mix of coincidences, isn't it? First Mike decides that he's going to start writing about those superheroes, then Kevin gets some new comic books, presumably with superheroes in them. And then this all happens the night before a Quidditch match, so Stephen's looking for his lucky pyjamas, and to top it all off, Tony's got an assignment due soon, so he'll be doing homework by candlelight all night long.'

'Are there really such thing as coincidences, Pad?'

She tilted her head to one side quizzically.

'But there's no other logical explanation...unless you're going for _the Universe hates me_!'

Terry crossed his arms, pretending to be offended.

'Pad, do you really think_ I_ would think that? No, I was thinking more along the lines of _if there are superior beings, and these superior beings care about my existence, then these superior beings are expressing an intent to make my existence somewhat more difficult, for reasons that I cannot fathom, because I do not believe I have done anything to warrant their dislike.'_

Padma shook her head, grinning.

'Well, perhaps-'

'-We should save this discussion for another time. It's extremely late, and you need to go to bed, because Morag will be up at the crack of dawn tomorrow, tomorrow being match-day.'

Padma frowned slightly.

'This is most unlike you, Terry. I've never heard you say that we should postpone an intellectual discussion.'

He yawned.

She smiled.

'Well, I guess that answers my question...'

'I'm human, Pad. And right now, I'm very tired.'

'But you can't go to sleep, not with-'

Stephen Cornfoot approached the pair, poking Terry in the shoulder.

'-Uh, Terry, would you mind Summoning my pyjamas for me? Kev and Mike said they'd be quiet and go to bed if you'd just find my pyjamas and...well, put everything that I sort of threw everywhere back in place.'

The two boys headed up to their dorm.

Padma gathered up her Astronomy things, yawning. She suddenly realized how absolutely exhausted she was.

_I wouldn't have been up for a long discussion, actually. I really need to go to sleep..._

_Terry has a frighteningly good sense of timing..._

_Perhaps he's a closet Legilimens. A very, very advanced closet Legilimens..._

_I'll have to ask him about that someday._

* * *

AN: There's a reference to _For Your Consideration _in that last bit. Someday turns out to be a lot further into the future than Padma thinks...


	17. Blame the French

'I am not in love with Ginny, Tony!'

'Yes you are, Mike! Even I can see it in the way you look at her-'

'-I haven't even known her a month-'

'-You've loved girls you've only known for days. Or even ones that you don't know at all-'

'-That's not true-'

'-You don't know someone just because they asked you to pass the stew!'

Michael blushed.

Anthony grinned.

Terry raised an eyebrow.

'This is an interesting reversal of roles.'

The three boys continued to walk towards Ravenclaw Tower.

Terry suddenly stopped in front of a window.

'Mike, Tony, you should see this.'

He pointed outside.

They could make out Padma sitting alone on a bench.

'She looks rather sad...'

'I'm going to kill that French git!'

'Mike, murder won't solve anything.'

Michael stormed off.

Terry's words were ignored.

'Err, Terry...I'm not really much good at comforting people...'

'You go after Mike, Tony. I'll go talk to Pad.'

* * *

'It's too cold to be sitting out here without your winter cloak, Pad.'

He cast a Warming Charm.

She smiled wanly up at him.

'Thanks, Terry. How'd you know I'd be out here?'

'Mike, Tony and I saw you out the window.'

They sat in silence for a moment.

'Terry, am I a bad person?'

'No. It is not good for your mental wellbeing to think that you are, Pad.'

She sighed.

'I know...but looking back, I think I might be. I was rather rude to Ron Weasley at the Ball...and I was all sulky...and I stormed off...but worst of all, I was rather disproving of his robes, and you know the Weasleys are rather poor, and he probably couldn't afford anything better...and now I just feel terrible!'

'He was just as rude to you, Pad. Neither of you wanted to go to the Ball with each other. And your reaction to his robes was a perfectly normal one, so don't think that makes you a bad person. And you must admit, his Severing Charm was rather terribly executed.'

She smiled slightly.

'True. But even so...well, I told Gilbert that I didn't want to go to Hogsmeade with him again...and that made me think of what I told Mike, about not loving him, or falling for him...and that made me wonder, was I just using him? I mean, I sort-of went with him just to see what it would be like, you see...does that make me a bad person? Stringing him along like that?'

'No. It was one date, Pad. Just one. The two of you barely know each other; it was more of an occasion to get more acquainted. You weren't stringing him along. If it was more dates, or you knew each other relatively well beforehand, then yes, you would be, but that would not make you a terrible person. It would just mean that you were a generally good person who'd done something wrong. People do that. Besides, I doubt he was deeply emotionally attached to you.'

She smiled, fully this time.

'Very true.'

'Being told you're pretty gets old. Or so I'm told, given that I've never been told I'm pretty.'

She laughed.

'It does.'

'I'd take brains over brawn and beauty any day.'

She nodded.

'Same. Thanks, Terry.'

He smiled.

'No problem. I'm glad you're feeling better. We should head back up to the Tower. You need to warm up, and I need to make sure that Tony managed to stop Mike from killing Gilbert.'

She clapped a hand over her mouth.

'He's not going to...he'll get in so much trouble-'

'-I'm sure he didn't actually kill him. In fact, I'm pretty sure Tony would have been able to stop Mike before he did anything too stupid.'

She nodded slowly, and they hurried back to the Tower.

* * *

Anthony guided Michael to an armchair in front of the fire.

The dark-haired boy appeared to be in agony.

Padma's eyes darted over him, searching for a wound.

'Mike, what happened to you?'

He groaned.

'I don't want to talk about it.'

Anthony shook his head.

'He asked out Fleur Delacour.'


	18. Breakfast in Bed? We Wish

'I hate you.'

Michael glared at Terry.

Terry remained unperturbed.

'Why did the warlocks of Liechtenstein refuse to join the International Confederation of Wizards?'

'I hate you.'

'That's not the correct answer.'

'I hate you!'

'I know you do, currently, Mike. But why didn't the warlocks of Liechtenstein join?'

The darker-haired teenager groaned.

'Why are you torturing me?'

'Because you asked for it.'

'Well, I un-ask you!'

Terry raised an eyebrow.

'You instructed me quite clearly that I am not, under any circumstances, to stop.'

'I've changed my mind! Stop! Please! I'll do anything!'

Terry shook his head.

'You asked for my help. I gave you my word. Therefore, I am not going to stop.'

Michael buried his face in the pile of parchment on the desk in front of him.

His slightly-muffled words still reached Terry, however.

'Why did I get myself into this situation?'

'You evinced a desire to study for your O.W.L.s. You requested that I assist you.'

'Why in the name of Merlin's baggiest pants would I do that?'

Terry simply extracted a roll of parchment from underneath Michael's head.

'Your exact words were _I'm going to get more O.W.L.s than that bloody git even if it kills me.'_

Michael crossed his arms.

'Damn it! This is going to kill me! I hate him! I can't believe he's my brother!'

'I know you do. But I can believe that you're related.'

Michael looked as if he'd curse Terry on the spot.

'Bloody hell, Terry! As if there's any resemblance between me and that idiot!'

Terry raised an eyebrow.

'Well, for one, you and Matthew, from what I've heard, both have an unfortunate dislike of studying for their exams. Secondly-'

'-Are you saying I'm like my brother because I won't study?'

'That is what my words inferred.'

Michael picked up _A History of Magic._

'I knew I hated that Gryffindor git for a reason. Fine. I'll prove it. I'm nothing like my brother! Now, what was the question?'

'Why didn't the Liechtenstein warlocks join the International Confederation of Wizards?'

* * *

A week and a half later, during breakfast on the first day of O.W.L.s, Michael looked up murderously from his Pixie Puffs.

Terry was the subject of his glare.

As usual, he remained unflustered.

'You tricked me.'

'I'm sorry, Mike, I don't understand what you mean.'

Michael pointed his spoon threateningly at the glasses-wearing boy.

'Yes you do! You tricked me into studying! You know I'm nothing like Matthew! You only said I was in order to make me study!'

Terry nodded.

'I can't deny that. But, likewise, you cannot deny that it didn't work. I can say with a high level of certainty that you will receive more O.W.L.s than him.'

Michael returned to his Pixie Puffs, still muttering under his breath.

'...Tricked me...can't believe he tricked me...can't believe I fell for it...I actually studied...'

Padma, seated beside Michael, stopped reciting the definition of a Switching Spell.

'Well, I can say with a high level of certainty that I know I haven't studied enough!'

Terry locked his eyes with hers.

'You know that's not true, Pad. You have studied more than sufficiently.'

She shook her head.

'No, I haven't! I've only studied significantly more than usual since after Christmas!'

'Pad, your definition of _significantly more than usual studying_ is what most would classify as a ludicrous and unbelievable level of study.'

Anthony looked up from his Muggle Studies textbook.

'No, it isn't. I've been studying for at least half an hour more than Pad every day, and I've been studying specifically in preparation for my O.W.L.s since Halloween!'

Padma nodded.

'Exactly! I haven't studied enough! I'm going to get straight Ts!'

Terry sighed.

'If you get straight Ts, Pad, or you, Tony, then I'm going to come to breakfast naked, propose to Parvati and eat the Sorting Hat.'

Padma's brow furrowed.

'But that'd be completely out of character, not to mention against at least seven school rules. You would never do that, Terry!'

The brown-haired boy nodded.

'Exactly, it would never happen. Just like you or Tony getting straight Ts. You are both going to do excellently.'

Both Padma and Anthony appeared unconvinced, but started their breakfast anyway.

Terry suddenly reached out and grabbed Padma's hand.

'You like cinnamon in your porridge, Pad, not pepper.'

He replaced the pepper shaker in her hand with the cinnamon.

'Oh. Thanks, Terry. Switching spells are used-'

'-Tony, while Mike takes kippers in his porridge on the rare occasions that Pad can persuade him not to eat those balls of sugar sold as Pixie Puffs, you are more partial to bananas.'

Anthony halted, glancing down at his hands.

He was clutching half a kipper.

The other half of the kipper was already in chunks in his porridge.

The blond boy groaned and reached for a fresh bowl.

'I hate O.W.L.s.'

'Is fibre or oil more important for ill unicorns? I can't remember! I'm pretty sure I read about it somewhere...'

'...Stupid Gryffindor git...studied all because of him...'

Terry returned to his porridge.

_Constant observation of humans, and indeed of the supposed chaos that surrounds them, reveals that this chaos doesn't actually exist, and the behaviour of certain individuals follows predictable patterns..._

_I could have called this behaviour at least two years ago._

_Perhaps that is why Mike calls me a stalker._

* * *

AN: Yes, I do seem to have a strange obsession with what they eat for breakfast. Padma likes cinnamon in porridge, Michael has Pixie Puffs (and when Padma can make him eat porridge, porridge with kippers) and Anthony likes banana in porridge. What do you all think Terry has?


	19. Of Snowballs and Deja Vu

AN: For readers of this story who are interested in more stories involving Padma, Terry, Michael and Anthony, and their fellow Class of 1998 Ravenclaws, I've also published _Justice, _which centers around Anthony and Lisa Turpin, and _What Could Have Been_, exploring the lives of the Ravenclaws after the War, and also in a universe where the War never happened.

A possible upcoming story from me may be one in which Michael and a reluctant Anthony try to get Terry drunk.

* * *

'It is unwise to be outside in such cold weather without a winter cloak, Pad.'

Terry handed her the black bundle that he had been carrying.

Padma swung it over her shoulders, fastening the clasp.

'And before you ask, Pad, I don't know how to get into the girls' dorms, but I do know how to do a Summoning Charm.'

'Thanks, Terry. I guess I didn't think I'd be out here very long...or perhaps I just forgot.'

Terry locked eyes with her.

'You have something on your mind.'

She nodded.

'My parents still aren't pleased that Vati and I came back this year, and...well, I could tell they weren't too happy when we got on the train after Christmas.'

'Hogwarts is the safest place for anyone at the moment. Not to mention, your education is extremely important.'

They heard a familiar voice behind them.

'And you'd miss us too much if you didn't return!'

Michael grinned at her.

Padma smiled wanly back.

Anthony brushed snow off his hat.

'_I _wouldn't miss you. At least, I wouldn't miss you throwing snowballs at me!'

Michael responded by hitting him with another one.

Anthony grabbed a handful of snow, hurled it at Michael...and missed.

Terry swept the snow off his shoulder in the most dignified way possible.

Padma clamped a hand over her mouth, trying to stop herself from laughing.

'I...I'm so sorry, Tony, Terry...but it's kind of funny...'

'_Kind of funny_, Pad? It's hilarious!'

Michael was shaking with mirth.

Anthony threw another snowball.

And this time, he didn't miss.

As soon as Michael had spat out the snow, Anthony's hat was knocked off by a particularly well-aimed mass.

'Mike! Ooof...that hurt!'

'Merlin, Tony! I didn't even throw...ouch!'

'You little...'

'Yowch!'

'Ugh...the snow tastes a little odd...'

'Ow! I'm going to get you back for that one...'

'Get me back? You started it!'

'No, I didn't! You did!'

Soon, the air was thick with flying clumps of snow.

Terry and Padma stood on the sidelines, occasionally dodging a stray snowball, or brushing the remnants of a poorly-aimed missile off themselves.

'Mike and Tony are being terribly immature today, aren't they?'

Terry nodded.

'They are. I believe they need to let off some steam. Mike was beside himself when you didn't return to the Common Room as you said you would.'

Padma looked at him quizzically.

'But he didn't seem worried at all just then...'

'You were standing on a hill of sorts. We could see you from quite a distance away. Besides, Mike has the attention span of a Pixie.'

She smiled.

'True. But I'm sorry for any worry I caused you all...'

'Don't be. Even if you had returned, Mike's imagination would have come up with another far-fetched tale anyway. He was quite convinced that you'd been kidnapped. Or eaten by a Chimera.'

Padma shook her head.

'Really?'

'You know I don't lie.'

'True.'

They both stepped to the side to avoid a snowball.

'Terry?'

'Yes, Pad?'

'Would you think poorly of me if I joined in?'

'No, provided that you don't think less of me for hurling a snowball at Mike.'

* * *

'Ow! Terry!'

'You deserved it. Besides, it was rather satisfying.'

Michael glared at Terry.

Yet another snowball struck Michael in the back of the head, covering his dark hair in a fine white powder.

He turned around quickly.

'Tony, that's absolutely the last...Pad?'

The Indian girl stood behind him, smiling sheepishly.

A moment later, the smile disappeared as she ducked to avoid an onslaught of snowballs.

* * *

'That...that was the most fun I've had in quite a while, I think.'

Michael grinned, and slung his left arm over Anthony's shoulders and his right arm over Padma's.

'See, Pad? You've got to let loose once in a while. Be immature and childish.'

Terry nodded.

'It is good for one's wellbeing to just let go, sometimes, and act without inhibition.'

'Yeah, yeah, but the most important thing is to have fun, Terry.'

'Mike, that's not-'

'-You're in denial. Just look at your face right now. You're in denial.'

'Mike, I cannot look at my own face. I don't have a mirror with me.'

'See, you're in denial! You're changing the subject!'

Terry simply took out his wand and muttered an incantation.

Padma looked quizzically at him.

'I've never heard that spell before, Terry. Is it one you invented?'

'Modified Selective Hearing Charm. Possibly my most useful creation.'

Anthony sighed.

'Mike, we've had this conversation before. Terry's not in denial. He never is.'

'He's in denial, Tony! I know it!'

'That's what you said last time, and the time before that, and the time before that, and so on and so forth. And you were wrong. Every time.'

'Well, yeah, but I'm right this time-'

'-No, you're not.'

'Yes, I am!'

Padma sighed.

'Terry, would you mind teaching me that Selective Hearing Charm?'


End file.
